The Linear Canvas

Just before New Years last year, I began writing this web log. When I first began writing, I was writing once or twice a day. I couldn’t seem to get enough of writing something, anything, as often as I could. Some times now, I feel like I am forcing myself to do it.

I wrote several entries concerning George Bush and his failed presidency. I was also just learning that my employer was about to lay me off, after I had been told they were not. I think I had already figured out that I was going to get laid off. There were many signs, some that I understood and some I didn’t. There were some signs that I ignored because understanding what some of these indicators meant, also meant that I would have to admit I knew I was getting laid off, just like everyone else did.

About this time last year, I also found out that there was a job possibly for me in Columbus, Ohio at the cable company that I had just left when I moved from Columbus back in the 80’s. I had stopped at my friend’s house in Columbus who I had worked with there. I only mentioned I wasn’t sure what was happening with my job. He told me to send my resume to his boss and the human resources manager. Shortly thereafter I got an interview and was hired. Technically, I had not actually been laid off yet, but I was told I didn’t need to come in for the last 30 days. During this time I was able to receive paychecks from both the new and my old job at the same time. I didn’t actually take the job until February, but it all started about this time. Going from one job to the other in a George Bush economy was very lucky. I had to take a pay cut. That canceled my luck a bit. Thanks George.

Going back to the area Jill and I grew up in, worked out well for me. I was able to stay here a somewhat painful six months and was fully acclimated to the area before moving back. I had arranged with my niece to stay at her house until I could sell my house up north and move down here. We put our house on the market and hoped it would sell soon. We had quite a few people who looked at it in the first few months. We understandably were very confident right then that we would be moving soon. It seemed as though everything was coming along just fine.

As weeks turned into months, I began to wonder if this was going to end. All during this time, I drove from Toledo to Columbus on Monday morning, and then back to Toledo on Friday night. There was even an occasion when I had to stay and work Saturdays. During this time, I was able to visit with my old friends and family. Even working Saturdays gave me an opportunity to spend Friday night with friends that I had spent many other Friday nights with before. I should have been happier than I was. The truth is I was homesick all week. When I was able to return home, it seemed that I was there only a short time before I had to return to Columbus. It was nice getting to know my niece, but it’s not like I was hanging out with her and her friends. I would usually go into my room, surf the web for a while, then go to sleep. I would think during this time that I had so much time to write and so many things to write about. This was during the presidential campaign and I was so full of emotions, I probably could have written a book, but I didn’t. I just wanted this to end. I thought about it all the time.

Finally, after almost aborting the moving idea a couple of times, my house finally sold in September, I got a promotion and a raise at the same time. I bought a new house and hired a moving crew to get me down here. I had so much stuff and so many boxes that I couldn’t have done it myself.

At first, many of our friends and family were visiting quite often. We were also going to see them a lot. We were in a kind of whirlwind it seemed. We were always on the go and it seemed that the quiet life we had in Toledo was so long ago. During all that, my wife found a job that she hated and she wasn’t acting at all like she was happy about moving back to her hometown. I liked where we lived too. I hadn’t anticipated that it would take her so much time to be comfortable here again.

We had the whole family over for Thanksgiving. We had twenty-one people in our house. We had a great time. Jill’s brothers came, ate, and watched football with all my family. The women sat around the kitchen and the kids fought down the hall. Other than a few minor bumps, it went well. I think Jill felt a little more at home after that.

Being close to family and familiar places is an odd feeling, when you haven’t around them for quite a while. We visit places that we used to go before we left the area. Sometimes I get this panic attack that I have to drive three hours to get back home, then I realize that I can be home in fifteen minutes. Before I moved, going to Christmas at my sister’s house was an all day trip up and down I-75. Now I am so close that I spent Christmas and New Years with both of my sisters and my mother and still had time to do something other than drive those days.

After the big ice storm, the year ended with as big a question mark as it started out with. I like my job. I like project management. I love to make lists of things. This is the right job for that. I originally started thinking that it was digital television I wanted to learn. I did learn it, but I made myself way too attractive for promotion to stay in that department long. I don’t mean that as a negative. I planned it actually.

What I started out to do after I was laid off, was to start my own business. I bought a truck, and have all the tools to start making a lot of money. I don’t know if I chickened out or if what I tell myself is true. The things that I am learning now and in the last year are so valuable. Digital television transmission and project management can’t hurt my chances to succeed. Considering I started the year as a Network Engineer, things can’t help but look bright in my future.

I started the year wanting to be positive and successful. I believe I could have been more positive and more successful, but I think the overall effect was a complete success in 2004. All I can do is live every moment and try to maneuver through 2005 being more motivated, positive, and be more successful. It’s all attitude, or family connections. My family connections won’t get me much success, so I’ll have to rely on attitude and ability to get some. I should do just fine.