The Linear Canvas
This journal is about the wrongs and rights of the world, as I see them.

The Linear Canvas

Closest Encounters?

November 22nd, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

Being on the road most of the day, five days a week for thirty plus years allows one to see many interesting people, places, and Closest Enxounters?things. Sometime around 1995, I was working for a wireless broadcasting company in Lima, Ohio. Heading to a trouble call in western Ohio, I was driving west on US Route 33, between St. Mary’s and Celina, Ohio just before the rest stop on the north side of the highway. It was approximately 2 PM, and the sun was shining very brightly. As I approached a farm field at a cross road on my left, I noticed something in the field, or I should say above the field. The grey colored object was not very big, but it was big enough that it shouldn’t be suspended in midair, about fifteen feet above the ground, for any reason. But it was.

My brain could just not understand what I was looking at. It was obviously something I had never seen before. I wanted to fill in this blank in my mind with something known, but I was unable to. There is just nothing I could explain about what I was looking at. I had no frame of reference and nothing was as it should have been.

There was a thing, hovering silently and steady in the middle of the air with no means of support whatsoever.

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This is a Test of the Emergency Broadcast System

November 21st, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

If this had been an actual emergency, you would’ve been instructed where to tune in your area for updated information. I repeat, this has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This has only been a test.

My Newest Recording: "Why (Do I Have To Leave This Place)”

November 18th, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

One day about a week ago I woke up and was singing this song. I got up and started writing it down. I originally thought this song was going to be acoustic, but it didn’t come out that way. I was having a little crisis and I poured out my distress into this song.

I had to cut it down to get it under five minute. I just had so many ideas. The first arrangement was about eight minutes.

Why (Do I Have To Leave This Place)

[audio: 20091126_1136.mp3]

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I play lead and rhythm guitar on a 1987 Fender Stratocaster American Standard (Lil ‘59 pickup), bass on my 1972 Rickenbacker 4001 , and drums on a nice set of Ludwig’s. Everything was recorded in one or two takes. I was real surprised by how fast this came together. I recorded this on my Fostex VF-16 and processed it with Cakewalk Sonar 7 Pro and Sony Sound Forge v9.

Wanda Sykes and Health Care Industry Fear Mongers

November 16th, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

Wanda Sykes generally gets it just about right while still making it funny. How she got a job on Fox Network mystifies me. Rupert Murdoch is rolling in his grave, even though he isn’t dead yet.




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Dock Ellis-LSD No Hitter (video)

November 14th, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

Dock Ellis (b1945-d2008) was a major league baseball pitcher in the late 1960’s and 1970’s. He’s mostly remembered as a Pittsburgh Pirate. He was an above average pitcher and played mostly in the National League. He usually would win a few more games than he’d lose, but in his prime he had pretty good stuff and had a good career, with decent numbers.

He pitched a no-hit, no-run game against the San Diego Padres while he says he was under the influence of LSD. The 1969 National League expansion Padres were not yet a very good team in this their second year in existence. But it still counted.

Below is an animation of Dock telling the story of that game. I think it’s hilarious. As he explains, steroids is just the latest drug of choice in baseball. Many veterans will admit to being drunk while playing or taking speed to help their performance. Or usually because they stayed out too late the night before drinking. I bet none of them pitched a no-hitter though.



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Finding My Boy

November 11th, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

This story is true and whether any of this adds up to anything, you can decide for yourself.

Let me start out by saying, I don’t believe in magic or any afterlife. I am definitely an evolutionist that believes in the scientific theory of the creation of life. That said, I won’t rule out the possibility of some kind of creator that used evolution as its tool to spawn life on our planet.

I must say though, that this story makes all of my scientific theories wobble a little bit in my mind.

My Two Kittens

I got two new kittens in 1984. My first cat died of feline leukemia about six months previously. I always hated cats until then and had little patience for animals or humans. I’ve always said my first cat helped teach me how to treat other people better. We were heartbroken when he died. It was one of the first times I lost something I personally cared so much for. My father had  Boypassed away the year before and of course, it had affected me in a similar manner.

We were waiting on a new kitten from someone that my wife Jill knew. It still hadn’t been weaned yet, but we just couldn’t wait any longer. We went into a pet store in a Columbus, Ohio shopping mall, and found they had only one kitten left. It was already getting a little big and had probably been there for a while. It was a black long haired cat. It was so beautiful that I bought it immediately. The clerk said it was a female and had all of its shots. We took her home and for some reason named her “Amy”.

A few weeks later the other kitten was ready to come home. It was also a black female cat, except with short hair. She was easy to name as she went around the house crying , “Mao, Mao, Mao”. So I named her China. They were so fun to watch. China was so much smaller than “Amy”. It was funny to watch them play together. I wish I had a camera back then, because I have no photos of either kitten at that age.

Amy or Amos?

A few weeks later, Jill took “Amy” to the veterinarian. When she returned, she had some startling news. The vet told her that “Amy” was really an “Amos”. We had just trusted the pet store and because the kitten’s hair was so long, I had never noticed it had little boy parts instead of little girl parts. I did not think Amos was a very good name and decided that I would name him “Boy”.

Boy was a fairly large cat after he grew up that was always the master of his own domain. He just tolerated most people, but always treated me with deep affection. I’ve always felt that most male cats were more attracted to people that gave them space and didn’t treat them like babies. Boy always followed me around the house. He sat at the computer with me. He would sit beside me on the couch. He loved me as much as I did him. But he had a streak of wildness that was usually initiated by trying to get him to do something he didn’t want to do. Brushing his long hair, giving him a bath, or taking him to the vet was always bound to draw blood from someone, even me.

Once we took Boy to the vet for a minor procedure. When we picked him up, the vet’s staff told us that even though they had sedated him they were too scared to do the procedure as he growled at them fiercely even while he was unconscious.

We lost China at ten years old to an illness, but Boy lived on to the age of sixteen. He had a stroke when he was about fifteen, but recovered. Later his kidneys began to fail. He became sicker and by July 2000 the end was very near.

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B-52’s-Rock Lobster (video)

November 6th, 2009 . by Alexander Fisher

I remember in the late 70’s and early 80’s being at Brian Morcher’s old farmhouse on Old Springfield Rd. partying on the weekends and playing the B-52’s first album over and over again.

This is a good video featuring the original B-52’s guitarist Ricky Wilson, Cindy’s brother, who was an early casualty of AIDS. Check out singer Fred Schneider’s 1970’s pornstache.



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