The Linear Canvas

I was watching a National Geographic Channel special called “Surviving the Super Twisters” about the Super Tornado Outbreak of April 3-4, 1974. I remember the day well. Although nothing of mine or my family’s was hurt or destroyed. I was definitely in the middle of the action that afternoon when it hit my town.

I had just recently gotten a job after-school at the local Otis Elevator foundry in London, Ohio as a janitor. My friend Dennis Brickey had gotten a job and then got me hired as well. Previously, I would hang around at the Gift’s Galore variety store and play pinball until about five PM and then go home, by parental order. The owner had just cleared a back storage room and installed five new machines. He had two of them out by the sales counter previously, but I bet the sight of several teenagers playing pinball didn’t do a lot for his other business. This had the advantage of adding more machines (more money) and getting us out of sight at the same time (more money) for him. I loved pinball and all of the regulars were above average players. As I would walk home at around five o’clock, I would walk right past the courthouse on my way from Gift’s Galore.

That day, Dennis and I went straight to his house after school to watch the cartoon Speed Racer and the game show Match Game ‘74. As usual we arrived at the foundry gates around four o’clock. The skies were becoming cloudy, but no storms were within sight. We were on the second floor cleaning the locker rooms and offices, when at about five o’clock, the power in the foundry began to go on and off. All of us headed for the foundry floor downstairs after the lights finally went out. There was enough light to see down there because of the open doors and windows. After a few minutes one of the foremen in the foundry came and told us there were tornado’s in the area and the safest place for us was back upstairs in the cafeteria in the front of the building. I wasn’t so sure that was the safest place, but if something happened in the foundry and molten iron was being blown around by a tornado, the cafeteria was fine for me.

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It always has really bothered me when someone would say they hated history in school. The nicest thing I can say is, that’s dumb. The other is that because so many people feel that way, we are doomed to repeat the lessons America has already learned, but also lessons that other nations have learned and sometimes had to re-learn.

Yesterday my wife called me with a question about which U.S. president signed the Declaration of Independence first. Her company was having a contest featuring Independence Day trivia. The choices were George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, or John Adams. Only two future presidents signed the document, Jefferson and Adams. So that would eliminate George Washington from consideration entirely.

There were two procedures in place for the signing of the Declaration of Independence:

1. The colonies’ (states) delegates signed first in the order of north to south.
2. The signers signed the document from right to left.

The only exception was John Hancock, the president of the Continental Congress, who signed first.

The only reason I can think of for this procedure was a possible compromise to allow the northern states the honor of actually signing the document first, but it would appear to the British or any other interested party at the time, that the southern states had that honor. It probably was to keep everybody happy at the meeting. If you didn’t like history in the 21st century, It certainly would appear that the answer to the question, reading left to right, was Thomas Jefferson.

Knowing the procedure in place, at the time, would not allow you to come to that conclusion though. As John Adams was from Massachusetts and Thomas Jefferson from Virginia, looking at a map would show Massachusetts north of Virginia and looking at the document will show John Adams’ signature on the upper right at the bottom of the page.

Therefore the answer is John Adams.

When my wife returned home, she told me that the “official” answer she was given was Thomas Jefferson. I suppose someone just looked at the document and figured that it was signed left to right and John Adams must have arrived late to the meeting.

The world will not end because of that error. But it saddens me that July 4th in America is more about contests and mattress sales than remembering our country’s independence from the distant rule of kings, queens, and the Church of England. Many love the fireworks just to see something get blown up more than the symbol of our Independence they are.

I only expect the situation to get worse in the future.